Authenticity is Everything
COUNSELLING
Written by Rachel Mehaffey
A Life Coach hasn't got it all sorted either
Life is a journey, that's for sure. No one has it easy. As a coach, it is often assumed all my ducks are in a row and I have every aspect of my life perfectly aligned. Well, that’s exactly why I wanted to share this story. Everyone is working on something, and unless we are willing to be vulnerable and share our experiences, it can be a very lonely road.
Last night at dinner, my daughter sat across from me and she asked, "What is an eating disorder?" Firstly, I am so thankful she talks to me about everything and is open enough to ask the questions but also, it scared me. She is 13 and already these thoughts are starting to nibble at her.
So, I dove into my science bag, explaining anorexia nervosa and bulimia to her, discussing the physiology and mindset behind these conditions. It was only after my lecture that I realized I hadn't asked why she was asking. When I did, she shared that she's fallen into a habit of eating fruit for breakfast and then, being so busy with school and after-school activities, she doesn't eat again until dinner. The weekend breaks her routine, leading to guilt when she eats "normally." She's trapped in a cycle of eating two meals a day and guilting herself out of the third.
That's when my answer changed: Disordered eating is an eating disorder. It's not just about the what and when of eating, but also the how and why. It's seeing food as an enemy, not eating when hungry, or eating when not hungry. It's counting calories instead of focusing on nourishment and tying too much of your worth to exercising just to "earn" your meals.
We talked, and I shared my lifelong struggle with body dysmorphia, something I've only been open about in the last five years. Why did I open up? Because when I sought support, people would often roll their eyes since I wasn't "fat," and they couldn't see me as I saw myself. Dysmorphia is like looking in those distorted mirrors at the fair; on any given day, you can be all of them. I've varied by 15KG in body weight at times in my life, looking in the mirror and seeing the same distorted image.
Since acknowledging the mental mess of it all, I've learned some strategies to keep myself grounded. Simple things like trying on my jeans to check the fit help me maintain perspective—if they fit, I'm the same as I was yesterday. It sounds trivial, but these little grounding practices are vital for keeping me in check. More importantly, I’ve shifted my focus from how I look to how I feel, especially as I hit perimenopause and everything begins to change again.
We humans have a tendency to think we’re alone in our struggles, that no one else could possibly understand what we’re going through. We self-isolate, when in reality, there’s likely someone in our circle who can relate to our feelings right at this moment.
Think of music, like Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." The lyrics speak of lived experiences, of journeys and pain that weren’t just imagined but were felt deeply and transformed into something shared and timeless. It's a poignant reminder that we are never truly alone; at some point, somewhere, someone else has felt what we are feeling now.
The "perfect" lives we see on Instasham are just that—performances meant to hide any signs of struggle or need for help. But the truth is, we are all struggling with something. That’s why I became a life coach. After 20 years of coaching within my corporate career and growing frustrated with the lack of authenticity in how people show up within the confines of a job, I knew I had to make a change. Now, as a coach, it's about showing up with my whole story, struggles and all, because that's how we truly help each other thrive.
This brings me to a fundamental truth about coaching: authenticity is key. Being authentic doesn't just mean being open about your struggles; it means being genuine in every interaction, providing a space where others feel safe to unveil their own vulnerabilities. It’s about being a mirror—not to reflect back perfection, but to show the real, unvarnished truths of life.
Authenticity in coaching builds trust. When clients see their coach dealing with their own imperfections and still pushing forward, it gives permission to accept and work through their own issues. It dissolves the barriers of pretense and allows for a deeper, more meaningful connection. This is the soil in which real growth takes root. It's not about offering a cure or a quick-fix solution, but about journeying together, exploring the rough terrain of human emotions and experiences.
Being authentic means I share my own journey with body dysmorphia and how I've managed my perceptions and reality over the years. It’s about being open with why I coach & how I want to help, I am also walking my path, continuously learning and adapting. This shared human experience is powerful; it's what songs like Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” echo—a shared narrative of struggle, resilience, and the poignant beauty of enduring change.
So I show up with my journey and truly want to know about yours. It is why I want to share the tools I have with as many people as possible and I cannot reach everyone with 1:1 coaching so I create the coaching toolkits so anyone can take them away.
We all have a purpose in life, that doesn't mean we also don't all have scraped knees and some growth experiences as well. Mine is coaching and it means saying my shit is not 100% together, no ones is! It is saying I am ok with that because I keep showing up and growing and I want that for you too.
Keep it Simple - Sugar
Rach xx
Hey, I'm Rach. I'm a Life Coach, Podcaster, Digital Course Creator, Writer, Educator, Single Mum & Science Nerd.
I started coaching for interest sake then lest my 20 year Big Corporate Gig to make it my life's work. Now I'm helping people all over the globe with mindset & teaching how to access the life you want.
Subscriber
Like to learn? Subscribe to my tribe here, pick your topic and get weekly updates on new blog posts direct to your inbox.
My Top Picks On The Blog
Mindset
Coach Candour
I love sharing what I know. All the tips, tricks and techniques we learn coaching & sharing how to use them yourself. Coach Candour pages are like you own in home coach on all topics body, mind & life.
I believe in authenticity and show up that way every day. The personal shars of the good, the embarrassing & the funny so you know everyone is relatable when it comes to the journey of life.
All about the thing I love most - science of the mind meshed with the inner workings of the body & how you can take back control of your subconscious.
The mindset pages are designed to share real life experiences we all have on mental health & give you practical advice & steps you can take to start to heal & create your new narrative.
Listen: On The Podcast
READ more about Mindset on the Blog
A MINDSET RESET
The Subconscious Reset Aimed at Self Sabotage
Say hi to the self that’s been hiding.
Mindset is your most powerful muscle. I'm sure you've heard the term 'mind over matter' many times. But what if I told you it's true..
We take care of the body, it's time to prioritise the mind.
Before you dive in ... Hey, I'm Rach!
I'm your in home life coach, a nerd when it comes to the body & mind. My vibe is teaching you how to thrive.
An Adelaide born life coach, podcaster, educator & dog obsessed animal lover. My purpose is giving you the tools to Level Up your life. I'm so happy you are here.
Coach & Friend -
Can we please?
A writer at heart hankering to be your pen pal! Allergic to junk mail I send only what you benefit from. Real strategies, workshop style challenges, unwavering encouragement & things you didnt know (but soooo... want to) - Direct to your inbox. You in?
Free tools to start your Life Level Up
FREEBIES
Downloads
